Shipping Trash
by NinPan512
Summary: In a time of pirates, there are things that happen. Why is this necessary.
1. Chapter 1

The seas are home to many. Although, as far as Mallo was concerned, few should have the privilege to roam these temperamental waters. As commander of Her Majesty's Royal Navy's fifth Division, it was Mallo's job to rid the surrounding area of scoundrels and thieves. Among those, were pirates.

Mainly pirates. Most of the job was pirate hunting.

One pirate ship in particular had been alluding the commander for months. But she finally had them trapped.

"Keep it steady and on course. We've boxed them in, no need to get impatient."

Commander Mallo Stood proudly on the deck watching with delight as the black flagged ship sailed to its doom.

"Um…Commander?"

Counting to ten, Mallo turned to see her Second Lieutenant nervously hunched behind her.

"What is it."

During the time the Lieutenant took to actually get the words out, Mallo rethought all her hiring decisions.

"A Captain Jo? Is here to see you?"

Patting the Lieutenant's shoulder, Mallo let loose a small chuckle.

"Good one Lieutenant. You've caught me in the perfect mood for a prank. You can go back and tell the rest how it went."

He rubbed the spot where the Commander's hand landed and protested, albeit timidly.

"No, Commander, I'm sorry. This isn't a joke. The uh…Captain was escorted to your office? And is waiting there under supervision for your arrival."

Annoyed, Mallo closed her eyes as to not throw the man overboard.

"You're telling me. There is an actual visitor." A nod from the Lieutenant. "Not only a visitor, but a ranked Captain." Another nod. "Whilst we are sailing in the middle of the ocean." A final nod.

"How did they even get on board?!"

The Lieutenant flinched back at the volume. "We aren't really sure. She just knocked at the door to the cabin we were in and asked to meet with you."

Never before has the urge to facepalm been so hard to resist.

"Just...fine. Stay here and follow that ship. Do not engage with anything until I get back. I'll go see this Captain."

Still believing this visitor nonsense to be a prank, Mallo was stunned to find a stranger in her office just as the Lieutenant said.

"Ah! You must be the Captain of this fine vessel! I must say this is an absolute pleasure."

Putting down the paperweight she was playing with, the stranger took an outlandish bow and flounced over to where Mallo was frozen in the doorway to offer her hand.

"I am Captain Jo, I've been looking forward to this meeting for a while."

Mallo stared blankly at the offered hand in front of her.

"It's Commander."

Hoping the heat she felt in her face wasn't visible to her companion, Mallo straightened herself.

"I beg your pardon. I am Commander Mallo. I thank you for your…enthusiasm, but I'm very curious how you managed to attend this meeting."

She brushed past the overly friendly Captain. It was time to take back control. Mallo didn't get where she was today by freezing in shock and letting someone else ask all the questions.

"It wasn't terribly difficult. I hitched a ride."

Seeing the sly smirk on the Captain's face, Mallo decided Jo was far too cheery for this meeting. It was time to put her in her place.

"As your superior, I demand to know how you boarded my ship without being seen."

That tone was usually sufficient in making other officers cower, but Captain Jo only smiled wider.

Mallo was definitely not as amused.

"Oooh, very good captain voice. I approve, and you must run an impressively obedient crew. Alas, I am not a member of your army-"

"Navy, we use boats."

"-and therefore don't recognize you as my superior."

Mallo calmly counted to ten for the seventh time that day while the smiling pseudo captain bounced on her toes.

"If you don't recognize the Queen's Royal Navy as your superior, then you in your authority?"

This whole situation could still be a prank. _One to test my patience._

"Only the wind and waves control me and my ship. But don't worry, your position as Chief Stick-in-the-mud is just as good."

Mallo's jaw dropped at the wink sent her way.

"Are you saying that you're a non-taxpaying thief?"

The Commander focused in on the aggravating figure in front of her. The long coat and boots without insignias. The hat no station would allow to be worn, the unkempt and uncut hair beneath. The civilian clothes hiding pockets containing who knows what.

"Technically yes, most call me a pirate though. I'm vain enough to admit I like that title better. I even got a little bird after I saw those lovely unflattering posters you put up to catch me."

Mallo slowly reached for her pistol while mentally running through the wanted posters she personally put up recently. She could only recall one that contained a bird, and only because no one knew what the pirate actually looked like.

For this to be that pirate however, was impossible. The one that particular poster was meant to portray was currently on board the ship Mallo's own fleet has been chasing for the last day and a half. They were almost in a boarding position, her crew would have noticed a raft leaving that ship.

"If you're a pirate, then it's my job to detain you. Why would you turn yourself in to a navy fleet like this?

The self-proclaimed pirate snorted before sauntering over to the only window in the room.

"Six boats hardly count as a fleet Commander. Besides, I'm not turning myself in." Mallo was getting wary of the grins that kept coming her way. "I'm the distraction."

That was enough for Mallo to pause in her actions to fully digest those words.

"Distraction?"

A feeling of unease started prickling at her. Attending this meeting was a mistake.

"Well of course. I had to make sure my crew all got away safely. What kind of captain do you take me for?"

"No kind."

Mallo couldn't help herself, arguing with this delinquent came easy.

"Stay where you are and put your hand out straight in front of you. I'm placing you under arrest for the crime of piracy, by your own admittance."

With her pistol finally pointed at Pirate Jo, Mallo confidentially reached for the handcuffs kept in her desk drawer.

"As fun as that sounds, I'm afraid I have prior plans, and a lot of people counting on those plans. I can't disappoint them you see."

Then, seemingly without fear, the criminal launched herself over the table and through the window onto the deck outside.

"What the-"

A head and shoulders popped up and made a frankly poor attempt at a salute before disappearing to the right.

Mallo rushed over just in time to see coattails vanishing over the railing into the sea below.

With dread in the pit of her stomach, Mallo ran back to where she left her Second Lieutenant in charge of the current mission.

Huffing with exertion, she grabbed his lapels and pulled him in close.

"Get us on board that ship. NOW."

Scrambling, he did as he was told and the next hour was filled with shouted orders and hurried movements circling around the deathly calm Commander.

When they finally boarded the pirate ship, they were met with no resistance. Mallo stayed calm throughout the search through deserted cabins, emptied cargo holds, and wedged steering rig.

It was when she found a wanted poster of an angry generic looking pirate with a bird on the shoulder tacked onto the main mast with a handwritten note that she finally lost control and set the whole ship ablaze.

" _It was a pleasure meeting you, I have a feeling_

 _we will be seeing each other again soon. ;)_

 _PS_

 _Please do try and update my_

 _photo, it's terribly inaccurate,_

 _don't you think?_

 _3 Captain Jo"_


	2. Chapter 2

"You should really come with me next time, that big wig is just your type. Boring, grumpy, the person no one wants to-OW"

Jo glared at her companion and rubbed the back of her head.

"There's no need to be violent."

She reached down into the water, then quickly threw her cupped hand towards the figure seated on a rock. Jo cackled at the look that formed on her friend's face after the splash.

A large wave of water stopped her laughter though, and the force of the wave pushed Jo off her seat and back into the shallows they had just swam out of.

"Hey! Using your tail is cheating!"

No matter how many times they had this argument, the other girl always ended up finishing the fight by cheating. _Stupid powerful mermaid tail._

 **You should go apologize.**

Jo couldn't think of anything she'd like to do less. It's not like she meant her words to be mean, it was just fun to rile up the scowling straight-laced Commander. She's the one that had been chasing Jo's ship around for months, Jo was just giving Mallo a little fun in return.

"Lia, she burned my ship, I think if anyone has to apologize, it's definitely her."

Jo crossed her arms stubbornly before continuing to watch her friend's communicative movements.

 **You have a new boat. And it's a better boat. Don't sulk.**

Jo flopped on her back to do just that, knowing she could no longer see the other's hands, and consequently the words she forms with them. _And that's how you avoid a conversation._

"She's too good at her job. I wish you could just swim up to her boat and sing her into submission. I can't dock anywhere without her showing up a day behind us."

They have yet to find anyone that could resist the voice of her friend. Mermaids were feared by most, and enamored by the rest. Their voices were silenced as a siren's song could send you into a dazed state, making you highly susceptible to any suggestions. Sailors often stumbled across pods of mermaids out basking and singing, causing them to jump off their ships and drown trying to follow the voices.

They always thought they were in love. Too bad the only way to actually hear a siren's voice without consequence was to love them.

A flick to her face brought Jo's attention back to Lia's signing.

 **So be sneakier. Or make friends. She was worried about you when she thought you fell overboard. I saw her face.**

Jo squinted at Lia's innocent expression.

"Make friends? With a military person trying to have me hanged? Are you crazy?!"

Probably the worst idea the mermaid has ever had. Lia could just swim down to a different set of waters and hide out if things went wrong. Jo, however, couldn't breathe underwater, and had nowhere to go.

 **Just show her you aren't that bad! If you were actually the crazy evil criminal she thinks, I wouldn't be around you.**

As true as that was, Jo had a feeling there was more to this encouragement than that.

"Ugh, let's just forget her. I have a new lead on that witch rumor floating around."

Lia's eyes lit up as Jo began to share what she had learned.

Meanwhile, back on land, Mallo headed down the wooden docks towards the officer standing in wait. She had only met the Commodore twice in her life, and was not keen on meeting him a third time. The stern look he was sporting made her want to shrivel up and run away, but she held her head high to greet him.

"Commodore Jalko, what can I do for you?"

Her salute only seemed to make him scowl more.

"You can start by telling me why the hell I have reports coming in that one of my officers set a ship on fire in the middle of a heavily navigated piece of our waters. Or how your crew have been going around saying a pirate bested you on your own ship? While they were in your personal office?!"

Well, this wasn't going to go well.

"Commodore, sir. We did not know the…visitor was a pirate, she had only just revealed herself when I went to arrest her, then jumped overboard. I have every confidence she is adrift at sea and will no longer be harassing our harbors. And if she does, we will launch a full scale attack on her and her crew as soon as word reaches us."

Mallo would hang every last pirate if it meant keeping her job.

"As for the burning ship, it belonged to the pirate we are discussing, and I could not allow it to fall back into their hands. The crew must be scrambling for another vessel, and in the panic will become lax. That's how we can find the rest."

Hopefully all that would appease the Commodore, she really had no idea what they could do or if any of what she said was actually true.

"I want that fugitive hanged. That is your only task from now on, is that clear? The other five ships under your command are being transferred, you have two months to make this happen, or you will no longer be a part of Her Majesty's Navy. You are dismissed."

With that said, he spun on those overly flashy boots and stomped away.

Never before has her job ever been such high stakes. Usually scaring them off was sufficient enough in appeasing the crown. S long as her harbors and cargo were safe, she didn't care what happened to the thieves roaming the waters. Now though, they planned to make an example out of the mischievous Pirate Jo.

Mallo wasn't entirely sure she was okay with that. Although, it's not like she had much choice in the matter.

What's one pirate's life anyway? The Captain chose the path she was on, she knew there were consequences for those wrongdoings. Mallo was doing the right thing, morally.


End file.
